Tales of the Parodyverse

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L!
Mon Apr 18, 2005 at 07:10:07 pm EDT
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A unrevealed piece from Crisis on Infinite Parodyverses...
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Noonish, Sometime last week.

Paradopolis is burning as it has been for the last few months. That's what happens when the World goes to war over a danish. High above the city are a pack of Tri-Sentinoids, they are patrolling the city for any and all activity. Every so offen they detect something and blast the heck out of it. Most of the burning is caused by them.

In one of the city's many now deserted alleyways, a cat is picking at the garbage from an open dumpster. She is looking for food, the dumpster is behind what at one time was a small coffee shop, the old rusted says says it was called "The Bean and Donut".

Then, there was a loud *BOOM* that seemed to echo for miles. The cat was startled by the sound, jumps out the dumpster and out of the way of a man that seemed to fall from nowhere into the dumpster.

"Uh!" went the man when he hit the dumpster. He groaned some more, lifted himself up, leaned over the side of dumpster and then promptly threw up on to the cracked pavement below. He was told that was normal for people who experience their first Goldeneyed Express jumps. The man then fell back into the dumpster and laid there amongst the trash trying to remember what had just happened and what he had gotten himself into, It all came back to him. One things was Dark Knight doesn't like it when people pee their pants in his presents.

Once the man felt that he had enough strength, he crawled out of the dumpster. He then fell on to the ground and laid there for awhile. The cat came up to him and started to lick him. He groaned, then pushed the cat away. A man dressed in an all white suit walks up. He says "Hello, Mr. Willis. Glad you could make it. Try not to throw up my shoes, their new or what can pass as new in this hellhole of a city anyways."

Mr. Willis blearily looked up at the man. He didn't know him but recognized him for some reason. "Mumphrey?" he mumbled.

"No. But, I knew him. A good man and he'll be missed. Along with many other people."

Mr. Willis's eyes started to focus on some posters on a wall behind Man in White. The first poster was old, like so many things in the city. It was red and black in color. On it has two words and the depiction of a very familiar face. The words read "Resolution is" and Lord Resolution stared back at you with a look of disgust on it's face. That poster had almost covered over another, it was wanted poster. Who it wanted was the Lair Legion, it wanted them dead or alive, but dead was preferable. Also, spray painted on that wall was a phrase in bright red, it read "DIE MUTIE! DIE!" That phrase could now be seen all over the city.

Then, Mr. Willis passes out. The Man in White pulls a silver flask from his coat pocket, he unscrews the cap. He lifts the flask to toast and says "Long Live the Lair Legion!" He then takes a swig, caps his flask, kneels over then picks up Mr. Willis.

"Must get him out of here, before the Hero Feeders find him." he thinks. He carries Willis over to a doorway, he knocks a special knock. The door opens and The Man in White carries Mr. Willis down the stairs.

Watching this was a large red dragon like creature. Once the Man in White & Mr. Willis are gone from it's sight. The dragon spreads it's wings & flies off in the direction of it's vile master. As it flies, it sees in the distance a wall of energy. It was plaid in color. This plaid wall of energy is destroying everything in it's path. Something about the plaid wall draws the dragon in. The Dragon is then erased even before it knows what has happened.

----

At a crossroads of time & space, is a hexagonal spaceship.

"Master, the Anti-Story has reached yet another world!" Leeta Trainor, The Humdinger, said from her monitoring station.

"Which, my child?" The Lurker said. He appears to be growing older by the minute. His once bright orange hair is now turning silvery grey. He coughed every so offen.

"The World on Monitor 42." Leeta says & points to that screen. It's just to the left of The Lurker. He looked over at it.

"Ah, yes. *COUGH* I had such high hopes for that world, it showed so much promise. *COUGH, COUGH* But, I doubt they will make it since most of the viable heroes are dead." The Lurker said, then coughed again. The oncoming crisis & his nemesis are making him weak, they are also slowly killing him.

The Lurker watches as 30% of that dimension's Earth is erased. Then, 40%, 65%, 80% & then it's gone into a plaid wall of anti-story as if it never was.

"Leeta, we must save the worlds we have left." The Lurker said, then coughed.
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